Recently, I had a conversation with Mike, the founder of the Stuttering with Confidence program, on his podcast. We covered several topics, but due to the limited amount of time, there was a lot more I wanted to talk about but didn’t get the chance. Although I always introduce myself as “having a stutter” before a formal meeting or presentation so that people “do not feel surprised,” there may still be a lot of confusion. The percentage of people with stuttering is less than that of people with severe visual impairment, so it is natural that people don’t know what it is and how to react. Thus, I would like to have a little discussion here about some questions that non-stutterers may have about me as a stutterer, mainly those not covered in the podcast.
I don’t know, and no one knows. The reason behind stuttering is still under research in academia. Sometimes, fluency even fluctuates between days or weeks. A lot of factors, such as stress, may contribute, but it doesn’t mean causality, and it is not 100% correlated. Anyway, I stutter NOT BECAUSE you said something wrong, you made me nervous, I am lying, I am not sure about what I want to say, or anything else. It is purely a stutter.
As the reason behind stuttering is still under research, so is the treatment. There is no cure. When some people claim they have overcome it, it could mean: that method fortunately worked for them for some unknown reason; or, they haven’t actually overcome it, and they’re just experiencing some “fluent days”; or, they want to sell the method and make money. You should never suggest to a person with other impediments to work hard on seeing, walking, etc. Likewise, it’s better not to give suggestions like these to stutterers. Meanwhile, you never know how hard stutterers have worked to become the person they are today.
Yes and no. Since most people are not familiar with communicating with individuals who stutter, I feel the efficiency with which they receive my information is slightly affected, especially when they don’t pay attention to me. After all, they normally don’t process this kind of auditory information at all. Meanwhile, when I used to be ashamed of stuttering, I might have spoken much less during meetings, which could give people the impression that I didn’t know much. All these effects can be reduced by me speaking up more.
However, if I were given a magic pill that could only achieve one dream, I would choose to become the most intelligent person in the world instead of being free from stuttering :)
Most people show basic respect, which means that they do not laugh in front of me. Ever since I became an adult, I have only encountered two people who laughed at me or other stutterers. Some people show genuine interest, and I love talking with them. Sometimes people don’t laugh at me but might just ignore me, which means they prefer talking with other people and ask me fewer questions. Those people don’t leave a strong impression on me, though, but the nice, genuine, and precious people do, and I can recall every kind moment of them.
Communicating with people who stutter doesn’t require anything more than talking with a non-stutterer. Usually, you don’t look away or finish sentences when you talk with non-stutterers, so it’s better not to do that with stutterers either. But I personally think it is completely understandable if you do so since you might not be familiar with these situations and may just want to make it easier for us. However, for some stutterers, it may lead to the opposite result, where they think that you don’t feel comfortable talking with them, or you are impatient and just want to finish the conversation. This could cause them to feel anxious and stutter more.